Saturday, July 23, 2005

My pick - A piece of wood

I was asked a random question that Zhuang read on a movie forum today -- Who's a better director, Michael Bay or a piece of wood? Well, seeing that I stayed awake the entire time watching all 2 hours and 18 minutes of The Island (Bay's new summer flick) -- although, I think it was more of me drooling over Ewan McGregor that kept me awake -- I would have to go with Michael Bay as a better director coz he has the ability to talk, and a piece wood doesn't, and shouting orders is kinda part of the job description of a director. However, a piece of wood wins hands down against some celebs and people I know in real life. Here's my pick:

  • Josh Hartnett vs. a piece of wood - Winner, a piece of wood, coz it has more character and screen presence that Hartnett will ever have in all his movies combined
  • Tom Cruise vs. a piece of wood - Winner, a piece of wood, coz it's capable of more expressions than Cruise and it's unlikely that the wood is a Scientologist
  • Sean William Scott vs. a very ugly piece of wood - Winner, the extremely ugly piece of wood, 'nuff said
  • Paris Hilton vs. a piece of wood - Winner, a piece of wood, coz it's capable of saying more than "That's hot"
  • A slacker wannabe musician housemate who doesn't know how to use the flush vs. a piece of wood - Winner, a piece of wood, coz that's what I'll like to clubber him with everytime I go to bathroom and there's fucking pee in the toilet



Blogger YU JIAN said...

Sean William Scott is funny lar!! Hahahahaha ...

Tom Cruise is an average actor ... but he has TREMENDOUS screen presence. And magnetism. That's why he gets cast in so many roles DESPITE his emotional range being, in your own words, less than a piece of wood. Think about it, ever since Top Gun and Cocktail, all his roles have been tailor-made to suit his character. He's not an actor. He's just Tom Cruise.

And btw, FUCK Scientology. Read some of their ideologies on the Net ... and what can I say ... these people have lost their minds.

2:12 AM  
Blogger YU JIAN said...

Oooohh forgot to mention ... bout your tinkler housemate ... here's a tip: line your toilet seat with bubble wrap. Not only will it give you extra cushioning, it gives his pants little sprays of surprises each time he misses the mark. *evilish grin*

P.S. I'm a guy too, but thats no excuse to leave wet toilet seats. It's simple, really. Just ... lift the seat before peeing? And if you spill, there's always this thing called ... tissue paper?

2:16 AM  
Blogger audreytmv said...

The problem is that he doesn't flush! I don't care if he leaves the toilet seat up - but whatever, moving soon, so don't have to deal with incompetency.

As for Mr. Cruise, that's exactly the problem, like you said, "he's not an actor, he's just Tom Cruise." Actors should not be paid to be themselves, they're paid to take on a character that's NOT them and make the audience believe that they're someone else - which, Cruise fails EXTEREMELY miserably at.

Sean William Scott looks like George W. Bush's lost brother.

1:25 AM  
Blogger iamjoe said...

michael bay is the bad boy guy. so he's good.

11:22 PM  
Blogger audreytmv said...

Not a big fan of buddy guy flicks that have tons of boom booms in them. I find the sound of explosions on screen very soothing and condusive for sleeping. Heh.

3:59 PM  

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