My Tuesday morning...

So here's my routine every Tuesday morning: I drag myself out of bed after breaking yet another alarm clock – I found out that alarm clocks aren't made by aerodynamic engineers, they don't fall or fly across the room very well – then, I take a hot shower on a cold, windy San Francisco morning and take my own sweet time getting ready for class. After all, that's a privilege that I get from living 10 minutes from school. The first thought I get (first clear, logical thought that is, coz &*$%# doesn’t really count) once I step out the door is of course: I need my coffee, NOW.

And if there's one thing that I absolutely love about San Francisco State, is that I think the entire community of faculty and students are just caffeine addicts -- walk twenty paces and you'll get your shot for the day. But here's the problem, every Tuesday morning, I have a cinema class, which means for three hours, I'll be in a dark room, watching two and half hour-long black-and-white, independent documentaries made before I was an embrio. I don't mind the film at all, but the catch is, I have to stay awake for the entire three hours without coffee, because no food or drinks are allowed in the cinema. GREAT.

Trust me, I've tried sneaking the coffee in. Nothing gets pass this professor. He stops in mid-sentence just to show a student the door if he sees you sneaking a sip. It's not that the prof. is mean or sadistic, it's just that we get a lot of idiots who eat like two-year-olds, leaving sticky seats and trash in class. Sigh. But what's a girl to do? So every morning, I buy and chug 12oz. of Peet's caffeinated French roast (Yes, Peets. Not the whimpy stuff from Starbucks) down in 60 seconds. It's a feat, and I've done it more than I should. After burning your tongue once or twice, you'll figure out the exact amount of milk to put in your coffee so it's perfect chugging temperature.

A little concerned about my well-being, I asked myself: Do I really need the caffeine that badly? Will chugging coffee down screw me up for the rest of the day? The answer...I don't know. I don't get jitters, but I do get hungry and sleepy during class but that's nothing new. Sigh…can't wait till this semester's over, I look forward to enjoying my coffee in sips, not in gigantic gulps.

The Untouchable Uncrustables - That Means Stay Away From It!

uncrustables2
Originally uploaded by audreytmv.

I don't consider myself a health freak, but the mere idea of frozen food just creeps me out. What in the world do you put in a "chicken" nugget to make it last through WWIII? Think about it.

Anyone who's had microwaved french fries will understand my plight. So here's my peeve: Smuckers, the makers of peanut butter, jam and jelly just released one of the most stupid ideas you can think of (coz I think Segways are dumber), get ready for this: FROZEN MICROWAVABLE PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY SANDWICHES.

Yuppers. Now how busy can a parent get that they can't even spare 30 seconds slap on some peanut butter and jelly on two slices of fresh bread for their kid? Jeez. Smuckers calls their new product, UNCRUSTABLES, coz the PB&J sandwiches have the crust conveniently removed. Again, 2 seconds: crust, cut, turn, cut.

Can you imagine the amount of preservatives that they inject into this so-called sandwich? I stand by my philosophy, if I can't say the name of an ingredient in a food product in one breath, I steer clear of it. Come on, shady chemicals in food is never a good thing. So here's what a lil' investigation turned up, some of the "ingredients" in an Uncrustables sandwich:

(MAY CONTAIN ONE OR MORE OF: DIACETYL TARTARIC ESTERS OF MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES (DATEM), MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES, ETHOXYLATED MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES, SODIUM STEAROYL LACTYLATE, CALCIUM PEROXIDE, ASCORBIC ACID, AZODICARBONAMIDE, L-CYSTEINE), YEAST NUTRIENTS (MAY CONTAIN ONE OR MORE OF: MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE, CALCIUM SULFATE, AMMONIUM SULFATE), CALCIUM PROPIONATE (MAINTAIN FRESHNESS), HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CORN SYRUP, SUGAR, PECTIN, CITRIC ACID, POTASSIUM SORBATE ADDED AS A PRESERVATIVE.

uncrustables1
Originally uploaded by audreytmv.

There you have it, 3 million words that I can say in one breathe. And some still wonder what's causing alarming increase in child obesity cases in the U.S. Hmm...I wonder, could it be? Dare I say it? UNHEALTHY SNACKING! All done in the sad name of convenience. Convenience my ass, it'll be damn convenient when your child keels off at 12 from a heart attack, and don't give me that look, it's a true case, a 4ft-tall, 170-pound 7th grader slumped over her desk one day and the doctor declared heart attack as her cause of death.

I have only one thing to say about this: To anyone who plans to be a parent, please, please spare a minute of your day to make your child a fresh sandwich. Or at least teach your kids to make it themselves!